Re-thinking and Re-Planning Your Wedding
While I’m lucky to do what I do and honored to be included in so many hope-for-the-future weddings, finding that hope in a pandemic environment is proving to be, well, difficult. I’ve recently spoken to many couples, both virtually and in my studio, who are grappling with some big life decisions right now. Should they gamble with older relatives’ health or lose every cent they scrimped and saved for their big day? What if they go ahead with the wedding and no one shows? And what about all those small businesses they are about to bail on? Ugh. There are no good answers.
Living in Seattle, right in the thick of the coronavirus battle, Corinne and I have been grappling with this for a while now. Wondering what hopeful advice this wizened old (!) couple could offer. We suddenly realized that we could speak to this directly, from experience: don’t be afraid to go small. Really, really small. For multiple reasons (it wasn’t our first rodeo and our closest families live, respectively, a six hour drive and an eight hour flight away) we decided on a small courthouse wedding. I have to admit, I wasn’t completely convinced at first. Coming from a small town, courthouse weddings felt a bit dismal to me. But Corinne, born and raised in NYC, had always seen them as spontaneous, glamorous, and sophisticated. Who knew! Turns out, she was right. A small ceremony on New Years Eve at the courthouse. Four friends attended as our witnesses. Several more friends downtown for drinks and appetizers. A late night dinner. Fireworks at midnight! It’s not for everyone, but it was magical for us. Highly recommend.
And so… maybe this will offer a little hope to couples dealing with this right now: it’s okay. Do what you need to do. If it’s feasible, do the things you can right now and have the blowout next year. Realize that you’re going to have a long and happy life together, and this day will be a sweet memory no matter how you celebrate it. And know that someday you’ll both look back on this mess and laugh and laugh and have a great story to tell your kids. Not today. But someday.